Saturday Torah Live: Maggid Edition

By: Rabbi Nicole Berne

Characters

• Narrator
• Pharaoh
• God
• Batya
• Miriam
• Moses
• Announcer
• Slave 1
• Slave 2

Intro – Song

We’re so glad that you’re here that we’ll stand up and cheer

We’re having so much fun (whoo!)

Torah is alive

Always will survive

There’s no need to run – just walk!

We’ll worship the Lord no one ever gets bored

It should be crystal clear – like glass! 

Sit back in your seats,

You’re in for a treat,

This is Saturday Torah, Saturday Torah, Saturday Torah live!

SCENE 1

NARRATOR: For centuries, the descendents of Jacob – or Israel – whatever-his-name-is, his family lived in Egypt and at first things were fine but there were an awful lot of them and a new Pharaoh looked at them and started getting worried so he made them slaves and that’s where our story begins.

PHARAOH: The slaves are miserable, I hear. They can’t imagine how things could get any worse, since they’re already working so hard and, you know, slaves. Wait ‘til they hear they can’t have any baby boys! Haha, it’s good to be Pharaoh!

NARRATOR: But a baby boy was born and to save his life, his mother put him in a basket and sent him down a river while his sister Miriam watched over her baby brother in the basket.

GOD: That doesn’t sound like safe parenting to me…

NARRATOR: God, You do have a history of telling parents to do questionable things – You wanted Abraham to sacrifice Isaac!

GOD: That’s different! That was a test. This is crazy town. Who puts a baby in a basket and then sends him down a river!?  Whatever happened to shelter in place and stay at home?! Somebody better come along and find that basket…

BATYA: Hey look! A baby in a basket! I’m going to keep it! After all, I’m a princess of Egypt – I do what I want! I think I’ll call him Moses.

MIRIAM: Pardon me, just a random slave girl coincidentally nearby when you find a random baby in a basket – you don’t think that’s a little weird, finding a baby in a basket?

BATYA: It must be meant to be!

MIRIAM: (think of “Call Me Maybe”) Yeah… hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but I know a lady who can take care of that baby, so talk to her maybe?

BATYA: How convenient and totally not suspicious!

MIRIAM: Yeah…and you should probably Purell before you touch him – it is a boy right? haha lucky guess….

SCENE 2

NARRATOR: Baby Moses grew up as a prince of Egypt. Like many of his ancestors, he eventually found himself in some trouble and had to leave Egypt in a hurry. He found work as a shepherd, got married, and had a baby. One day, one of his sheep wandered away, and Moses followed it, being a pretty good shepherd. A Burning Bush spoke to him and told him to take off his shoes and go back to Egypt and save all the Hebrew people.

MOSES: Without my shoes?

GOD: No, you can put your shoes back on – but get a move on, we’re in a rush! 

MOSES: They’ve been enslaved for centuries and NOW you’re in a rush? Also, why do you want me to do it? I’m not exactly a smooth talker….

GOD: Listen, I’m God and you’re the guy who does what I tell you to do. Now hop to it, let’s get a move on! Slaves to free, Egyptians to plague! Wash those hands and get your mask on, you’re going back to Egypt!

SCENE 3

NARRATOR: So Moses went to go speak to Pharaoh.

MOSES: Let my people go!

PHARAOH: No.

MOSES: Let my people go!

PHARAOH: No.

MOSES: Let my people go!

PHARAOH: No.

MOSES: Tell Pharaoh what he’s won!

ANNOUNCER: Today Pharaoh is walking away with a bunch of PLAGUES! The complete set includes favorites like blood, darkness, frogs, bugs, beasts, hail and more! Social distancing won’t protect you from complete darkness!

PHARAOH: Ew.

MOSES: NOW will you let my people go?

PHARAOH: No.

MOSES: That’s…. going to be unfortunate for you. 

NARRATOR: The last plague was the worst one of all – death of the first born. After that, Pharaoh finally agreed to let them go. The Children of Israel grabbed their bags and took off, but then Pharaoh changed his mind and came after the newly-freed Children of Israel with his army.

ALL: Oh no!

NARRATOR: With Pharaoh’s army coming up behind them and the Sea of Reeds ahead of them, things were looking pretty bad.

MOSES: God, now would be a good time for a miracle.

ALL: WOW!

ANNOUNCER: For those who’ve just tuned in, the sea has just parted! We’re crossing on dry land! It’s a miracle!

MIRIAM: Walking through the water, Mi Chamocha, Walking through the water, Mi Chamocha, Walking through the water, Mi Chamocha, freedom’s on our way….

SLAVE 1: Uh….isn’t that Pharaoh’s army behind us?

SLAVE 2: RUN!

(Puppets mime running.)

NARRATOR: Once the Children of Israel were safely across, the waters crashed back together on top of Pharaoh’s army. 

SLAVE 1 AND 2: FREE AT LAST!

NARRATOR: God provided food and water, and eventually, when the Children of Israel got to Mount Sinai, Moses went up to receive Torah, but that’s already into a different holiday called Shavuot which means here is where we end and….

Outro- Song

We’re so glad that you’re here that we’ll stand up and cheer

We’re having so much fun (whoo!)

Torah is alive

Always will survive

There’s no need to run – just walk!

We’ll worship the Lord no one ever gets bored

It should be crystal clear – like glass! 

Sit back in your seats,

You’re in for a treat,

This is Saturday Torah, Saturday Torah, Saturday Torah live!